How much do guys really want to know..

I have to admit. Hitting the "dating scene" in my mid-thirties has been a little daunting. I was mistaken when I thought that surely it would be easier than when I was younger. You know we are "adults".... Boy was I wrong!! I have no idea what the hell I am doing. Have no idea how to play this game and I am certainly clueless to the rules.

So there is this guy... I like him. We have spent quite a bit of time together. We have tons in common, we became close quickly, we have fun... you know all the good stuff. Well the good stuff happens when we are together, in person. When we don't see each other he seems withdrawn. The only reason I even mention this, is because he took a job in a different state... so there is going to be a significant time when we are not together, in person. I am a girl. Withdrawn does not work for me. I need to hear the same things you would say and do say in person, or else I kinda go a little crazy and start to second guess everything.

I want to tell him that I miss him. That I can't wait to see him. That I wish I was there to cook dinner for him. Pour him a drink. I wish that I was exploring his new "home" with him. But I am afraid to say anything because from what I have heard, that is breaking the rules. Is he thinking the same? Is he not and that why he is distant? And what is even crazier is that I am TALKING ABOUT THIS IN A BLOG AND NOT TO HIM.. we are adults right?????

I don't even know if anyone even reads this damn thing, but if you do, and you are a guy, what the hell do you guys want to know? What would scare you off? And why the hell would someone you seemingly like, a lot, scare you? For once I would like to understand. As I believe I mentioned in my very first blog I need a MAN-ual. ASAP!!!!

I really like this guy. I am willing to leave my home and start a life where I would know no one but him at first. That my friend is scary. But first I have to be able to trust that what he tells me in person, that what he seems unable to do over the phone or via text, is not some bull shit. Just not sure how to explain that to him without seeming over bearing, needy, whatever the "rules" say I would be.

How about we F these rules and just start communicating. It would be a hell of a lot easier.