How long do you wait?

Question of... Well I guess it could be the question of a lifetime.

So...girl (whom we'll call J) meets boy (almost 3 years ago) and she likes this boy. Problem... Boy is with another girl (whom we'll call girl A) So... J
waits to see what happens with this girl A because she knows it is not going well and hasn't been for awhile (she heard this threw the "grapevine".
But this boy has been with girl A for awhile and is trying to make it work.

Fast forward about a year... Boy is no longer with girl A. (J learns this from someone else.) So, J continues to talk to this boy everyday and falls in love. She thinks he might be feeling the same way. They spend lots of time together, it's "different" now when they sleep together. It's loving... and passionate... And definitely not JUST sex.

Fast forward to July 2011.... She tells boy she loves him. Boy breaks her heart... "I have feelings for you....blah
Blah blah, but I'm not ready for all that." J is literally heartbroken. Devastated. However, overtime this boy has also become her best friend. She can't let go. So.... They continue to talk everyday and continue to do other "things".

"Why would J do such thing" one might ask?? Well, she can't bear to be without the one person who knows more than anyone else about her... Not only was he her lover, he was her confidante, her best friend, the one person who knew the good and the bad and still was with her. The one person in the world she actually fully trusts. She just couldn't be without him.

After continuing on in this limbo (convinced one day that this boy would WAKE UP) she made a decision: she'd try to date because she knew she deserved better than limbo.

Well... That didn't go so well. J did meet someone... Funny, outgoing, smart, successful... (If you've read my blog he's the one that moved away and J actually thought about moving too...) Well guess what?! J Hasn't heard from him in awhile. Shocking! (not!!)

Well the boy found out about this guy... And broke down. He was afraid to lose J. He actually had tears. J was torn (at the time). How could he finally see the light now that she was beginning to have feelings for someone else?? How was that even fair? Now boy was attentive to J's every needs. He saw (not just text) her several times a week. He took her on an amazing date. She cooked dinner for him... On and on. J was in love with him all over again.

Present day... J is in love with him (even more than she was before). Has no desire to see other people and just wants to be with him.

J has no idea how this boy feels for her. Yes they talk every day... All through out the day. Yes they see each other often, yes they have sleep overs at least once a week. Yes J knows he cares about her... But does he love her? Is he ready for a commitment. (J is not asking for a ring people! Just girlfriend status would do.) And being who J is... She's afraid to ask, considering what happened last time she did.

Is he ever going to let her in? Is he just playing with her... Leading her on. Letting her stick around because he's getting what he wants from it without having to commit.

J is not one of those crazies that makes crap up. She really feels like this boy loves her... He takes care of her... Spends time with her... Respects her... Makes her a better person...

Why can't he just admit it? And how long should she wait?